A few months ago, I published a piece in Swimwatch that warned National’s new leader about the ambition of his deputy, Nicola Willis. I won’t repeat the arguments I made. But mark my words, women with her background and training are ambitious and lethal. Anyone who thinks Willis will be content walking one step behind leader Luxon is dreaming. Willis wants to be leader of the National Party and will happily do whatever it takes, even a knife in the back, when the time is right to make sure she gets the top job. Collins is a rabid Doberman. Willis is a rabid Doberman as well. She just killed the neighbour’s Labrador and has covered herself with its skin to disguise her vicious intent.

Rather nice, rather pathetic, sugar bunny, Luxon has no chance. One day Willis will eat him alive. That’s how they roll, in the National Party. Luxon may have industrial training in Air New Zealand and Unilever, but he is not equipped to handle a graduate from the Samuel Marsden Collegiate School playground. I know. For six years my daughter, Jane, went to the same school.

When Jane was seven, she asked me, “Why do the girls pray for peace and goodwill in chapel every morning and then tear each other apart in the playground at lunch?” Because that’s the way Marsden is. Willis learned at New Zealand’s best gladiatorial school.

The gladiatorial schools of ancient Rome taught physical strength and fighting skills. The giant Greek Milo of Croton, for example, was said to have carried a bull on his shoulders every day. He also apparently burst a band wrapped around his forehead by inflating his forehead veins. A man named Carpophorus was agile enough to battle lions, and once killed 20 animals in a single fight.

Marsden’s gladiatorial playground is about getting ahead with cunning and deception – of always being in the “in group”. And believe me Marsden teaches these skills with equal dedication and ferocity as any training given to the killer of 20 Roman lions. Willis has been trained to kill lions. What chance does sugar bunny Luxon have in the face her attack?

The answer is none. Already he is making stupid tactical decisions. Simon Bridges has just resigned as the National Party’s finance spokesperson. And what does Luxon do? He gives Willis more power. He promotes her to finance spokesperson. The premier portfolio and Luxon has just given it to his most dangerous challenger. The oldest trick in the book and Luxon has fallen into the trap.

Not only does he promote Willis to National finance spokesperson he raises her status with this oratorial gem.

“Nicola has an incredible intellect, prodigious work ethic and proven ability to hold the Government to account as we’ve seen her do on housing. She will build on National’s track record as the best economic managers to help Kiwis get ahead.”

That sounds like a speech introducing a new leader. It looks like a speech introducing a new leader. And it walks like a speech introducing a new leader. Then, I guess it must be a speech introducing a new leader.

The boy from Christchurch Boy’s High School is out of his depth. Willis has got his number and Luxon is running scared. He will flee in vain.

Look how well Willis orchestrated the internal coup against Simon Bridges in favour of the ill-fated Todd Muller. Willis has already dined on the blood of one National leader. And she enjoyed the experience. Bridges is said to feel betrayed by her and that relationship is never going to recover. You bet Bridges feels betrayed. An Auckland, “westie” from Rutherford College was never going to be a match for a Marsden trained killer.  

You would have thought sugar bunny Luxon would have recognised the danger. Once a killer, always a killer. But no, Luxon promoted and pampered the ruthless, trained and completely amoral lion killer. Remember she too prayed in the Marsden Chapel and then tore friends and enemies apart in the playground. And all the time she hid behind that expensive private school façade of respectability. Nothing changes.  

Willis will soon be eating Luxon’s bleeding sugar bunny carcass. Then watch out. This Willis gladiator will make Judith Collins look like Mary Poppins on her way to Sunday school. Ruthless? The best is yet to come.