My social media presence is limited to writing the Swimwatch blog, communicating with Eyad, his family and my daughter, Jane, on WhatsApp and using Facebook messenger to let Alison know when I’m on my way home. I do have a Facebook page that is getting dusty through lack of attention. The mysteries of Tinder, Spotify, LinkedIn and Twitter are way beyond my pay grade.

But last night all that changed. I noticed a conversation taking place between Jenny White and Jennifer Scott. I have no idea who or what Jennifer Scott is or does. Jenny though is Alison’s cousin and is a top drawer socialist – holding their feet to the f—ing fire sort of person. For years her dad was one of the teacher’s union (NZEI) representatives who dragged education here up by its bootlaces. His daughter(s) have continued in his fine tradition. Jenny makes me look like a positively right-wing mate of Mike Hosking. I’m not by the way.

Anyway, the evening began when Jenny posted this on her Facebook page:

Wow I just joined a Facebook group called Where is Clarke Gayford, dedicated to discussing rumors that Clarke Gayford is a drug dealer, in jail, on trial, wearing an ankle bracelet.

Good and somehow not surprising to see you in there Jennifer Scott Louise Burnside and Karen Jones .

Maybe he caused COVID! Maybe he burned the slide! Completely cooked and full of sexist garbage about the PM. Anyway, leaving now, just wanted to see if it was real.

There were 58 comments made about the post. I am going to edit them to those made by Jennifer Scott, or Jenny or me. I am doing that not to hide the wisdom of other people’s thoughts but to highlight my one night as an internet stalker. And so here is the conversation that followed.

Jenny Whyte: Yeah my sentiments too. People say some really repulsive things about Ardern. She’s not perfect, the govt isn’t perfect, but it’s pretty alarming to me the number of supposed feminists who join in with this shite.

Jennifer Scott: What the heck? Are you trying to name and shame people because they are in an online group. I don’t even recall being in? Absolutely pathetic post. What was your objective?

Jennifer Scott: Please show the comments I had made in that group for you to post my name up on your page.

Jennifer Scott: I suppose your going to say that everyone should be jabbed with an experimental Vax also???

Jennifer Scott: What is your objective by including 3 of our names in your post? I don’t spend my time wondering where the PMs stupid husband is. I LOST MY JOB LAST YEAR BECAUSE THE GOVT DOESN’T UPHOLD SEX BASED HUMAN RIGHTS!!! if you need more information on that, feel free to follow my posts online. 

Jenny Whyte: I saw a thread on Twitter about this FB group and was curious. I went to look and lo and behold 3 presumably feminist women belong to this cesspit of misogyny. I dunno, at some point you must have decided it was worth joining. I’ve certainly seen you saying some pretty gross things about the PM. As is your right, but I was a bit surprised to see socalled feminists in that group. I lost my job 2 years ago for the very same reason – defending sex based rights.

Jennifer Scott: i’m not sorry that me being in a online group that I literally have nothing to do with upsets you so much. And no, I don’t like Jacinda. Why would I? Why do I care about her life, relationship or anything. To accuse me of being on a miso… 

David Wright: You don’t like Jacinda. Poor you. In five years she has handled a mosque killing, an earthquake, an eruption, a pandemic, the birth of a daughter and a war in Europe. And you benefit by living safely in NZ. Look back on what you’ve done in five years and hide in shame.

Jennifer Scott: wtf? So you don’t like that I don’t like Jacinda. Poor you! LOL I don’t want her experimental drug.

Jenny Whyte: I have a great life, thanks, hope you do too. You misread my post if you think I’m upset you joined that group, I thought it was hilarious the 3 of you were in there.

David Wright: Three billion shots worldwide is hardly an experiment. I really don’t mind you not liking Jacinda. I just think you are ridiculous. Jacinda managed a pandemic well enough to allow loony tunes like you to live without the shots.

David Wright: Didn’t you know Putin calls Jacinda at midnight everyday to get military instructions. And now China wants to know from Jacinda how to sink an American aircraft carrier in the South China Sea.

Jenny Whyte: I’m just a bit tired of all the batshit crazy, sexist garbage I’m seeing towards Ardern, especially coming from women who I’ve fought alongside to some degree, against sex self ID. I really think it’s unlikely the 3 women I named are in that group to do “political research”. Ultimately this is my Facebook page. No one has to agree with me here, I welcome diverse views and debate on a range of subjects. I very rarely block or mute or unfriend.

Jennifer Scott: you are literally putting other woman’s name in a post and complaining about a Facebook page. what a waste of your life. I don’t like Jacinda and Mandates of experimental drugs are illegal. I hope Jacinda gets what’s coming to her.

David Wright: And tell me Jennifer what do you think is coming to her?

Jennifer Scott: Why are you supporting everyone being forced to have an experimental drug?

Jenny Whyte: no one is being forced to be vaccinated. I don’t support the mandates across the board, I think they breach the Bill of Rights Act, and it’s good to see that being challenged in court. Democracy in action. I’m also not a fucking psycho about it.

David Wright: No one forced me to have the drug and after three billion shots worldwide two things are certain. One it is not experimental. Two it is not Jacinda’s drug. She’s a talented woman but inventing drugs is probably beyond her skills. But thank you for giving her the credit.

Jennifer Scott:? yes, people have been forced to be vaccinated or they loose their jobs. That’s forced….thats what a mandate is. so I still have no idea why you have my name written on your facebook page. but hey, your not psycho! lol

Jennifer Scott: so you have long term research on the drug/Jab? so its not Jacinda’s drug? then who’s is it? and why do I have to take it or loose my job?

David Wright: I have your name on my Facebook page? You really are a loony tune. A completely over the cliff nutter. Until tonight thanks to Jenny I’d never heard of you. I suspect the sooner we restore that relationship the better.

Then there was silence. Jennifer went off to her bed and my night as an internet mogul was done. I’m just a touch ashamed to admit that, like my first time in a casino, it was actually quite fun. Jenny, you have led me astray. I will fight the temptation for this to become a habit.